Saw this on a blog and with permission posted if here, it is kind of how i feel

What Grieving People Want You to Know
>
> By Virginia A. Simpson, Ph.D
>
> 1. *I am not strong.* I'm just numb. When you tell me I am strong, I
> feel that you don't see me.
>
> 2. *I will not recover.* This is not a cold or the flu. I'm not sick.
> I'm grieving and that's different. I will not always be grieving as
> intensely, but I will never forget my loved one and rather than
> recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my
> life. That person is part of me and always will be, and sometimes I
> will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.
>
> 3. *I don't have to accept the death.* Yes, I have to understand that
> it has happened and it is real, but there are just some things in life
> that are not acceptable.
>
> 4. *Please don't avoid me.* You can't catch my grief. My world is
> painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say
> anything, you isolate me at a time when I most need to be cared about.
> If you don't know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch
> my arm, and gently say, "I'm sorry." You can even say, "I just don't
> know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that."
>
> 5. *Please don't say, "Call me if you need anything." *I'll never call
> you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you
> could do for me takes more energy than I have. So, in advance, let me
> give you some ideas:
> /
>
>
> * Bring food.
>
> * Offer to take my children to a movie or game so that I have some
> moments to myself.
>
> * Send me a card on special holidays, birthdays (mine, his or
> hers), or the anniversary of the death, and be sure and mention
> her name. You can't make me cry. The tears are here and I will
> love you for giving me the opportunity to shed them because
> someone cared enough about me to reach out on this difficult day.
>
> * Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner.
> I may so no at first or even for a while, but please don't give
> up on me because somewhere down the line, I may be ready, and if
> you've given up, then I really will be alone.
>
>
> 6. *Try to understand that this is like I'm in a foreign country where
> I don't speak the language and have no map to tell me what to do.*
> Even if there were a map, I'm not sure right now I could understand
> what it was saying. I'm lost and in a fog. I'm confused.
>
> 7. *When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more
> lost and alone.* I feel bad enough that my loved one is dead, so
> please don't make it worse by telling me I'm not doing this right.
>
> 8. *Please don't call to complain about your husband, your wife, or
> your children.* Right now, I'd be delighted to have my loved one here
> no matter what they were doing.
>
> 9. *Please don't tell me I can have other children or need to start
> dating again.* I'm not ready. And maybe I don't want to. And besides,
> what makes you think people are replaceable? They aren't. Whoever
> comes after, will always be someone different.
>
> 10. *I don't even understand what you mean when you say, "You've got
> to get on with your life."* My life is going on, but it may not look
> the way you think it should. This will take time and I never will be
> my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know,
> that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my
> life. But I will never forget and there will always be times that I cry.
>